For our kids, summer fun will never be complete without visiting a beach resort, and this year we chose Peninsula de Punta Fuego in Nasugbu, Batangas as our first beach destination. This is a two-and-a-half-hour drive from Los Baños, Laguna, but with what’s in store for us, the distance was never an issue.

A year after the invitation, we finally got to visit this world class resort which boasts of an 800-meter fine white sand beach, infinity pools and other water sports amenities, 9-hole golf course and other land sports facilities, and comforting casitas and hotel rooms, some of which feature a magnificent view of the South China Sea. It also has a SPA facility, superb restaurant, function rooms, mini-theater and a lot others. Thanks to the hospitality and generosity of my best friend Marites G. Felicisimo.

Though a day of bonding was not enough for the kids to know each other very well and become true friends like their parents, they managed to enjoy the time spent together burying themselves in the sand, building sand castles, swimming, snorkeling, eating and chatting. Papa Sez managed to take his power nap on the lounge bed beside an infinity pool with the cool wind patting his cheeks and whispering to him “This is the life”.

Late in the afternoon, while the rest were busy enjoying the infinity pool, Zeki and I sneaked out for a little golf putting and tour of the golf course driving my friend’s cart. I was having a great time and that left me unaware of the time if not for the setting of the sun. It was already dark and time for us to bid goodbye to this beautiful place.

It was like a mini UPEntomSoc Alumni homecoming for there were six of us (UPES Alumni) who got together with our respective families. For the first time in so many years, we were able to update each other on what is happening in our personal lives. I cannot tell everything we talked about, otherwise this blog could become a best-selling novel; but briefly, I would like to share two heartwarming realizations.

1. Parenting can change one’s outlook, attitude and priorities in life. (i.e. a paradigm shift). It was very touching to see a friend whom I’ve known to be strong, domineering and brave suddenly becoming a willing servant to the needs of a child, with a growing weakness to the thought of losing him and with heightened circumspection in everything she does, especially driving (she now consciously regulates her speed), considering that a child she loves dearly depends on her. Another friend now gives time for medical check-ups and stress management so she can always be strong and well for her growing kids. In the language of personal effectiveness, this is like ‘sharpening the saw’. They were able to witness the change in Papa Sez as well, from being strict and uptight to a lighthearted fellow, playing with and caring for our children.

2. True friendship can withstand the test of time and distance. We may have gained weight, added wrinkles, lost hair or grew gray hairs but how we looked at each other remained the same. No words are needed to show how we respect each other, value our friendship and cherish the moments we were together because we feel it in our hearts. Regardless of the career path we have chosen, ties of friendship remained strong.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Let's keep in touch and do this again someday.

Mama Sez and I have made an important move over the weekend.  You might have noticed the changes in this blog on Sunday after modifications in Insect Experts were in place.  I was on a roll last weekend...making much website-related improvements to our two main blogs.  The changes in the theme and layout are minor, or can even be considered merely cosmetic, compared to the change in blog title or name, i.e. from Parenting Journey to Happy Parenting Journey.

Our previous banner/header reflecting the original blog title "Parenting Journey".

The new blog title or name is part of a series of actions that we're going to take to concentrate our blogging efforts.  The decision to consolidate our blogs was reached a few months back.  However, the first concrete step happened just a couple of weeks ago about the same time this apology was posted over at Fatherhood Adventures.

What's with "Happy Parenting Journey"?

In our analyses leading up to the decision to consolidate our many blogs, we uncovered a trend, i.e. our blogs have revolved around three main topics or niches: HAPPINESS, PARENTING and TRAVEL.

If you've been following all our blogging efforts in the past year or so, having so many blogs have resulted in infrequent and inconsistent postings, which was more manifest in our other blogs: Fatherhood Adventures, Island Travel, WannaBeHappyNow and all its sub-blogs (Daily Happiness Tips, Happy Quotes Happy Images, Daily Laughs and Daily Thank You). In short, we were spreading ourselves too thinly.

Parenting Journey has been the most consistent, along with our Hubpages hubs by Mama Sez and Papa Sez, in generating most of our traffic, readership and online income than the rest of our other blogs combined. In fact, Parenting Journey has maintained its page rank and improved its number of subscribers in recent months.

So after 16 months of blogging, Parenting Journey turns into Happy Parenting Journey to accommodate the three niches or topics we love to write about.  What started as just a creative outlet that launched the online persona named "Mama Sez" has become the flagship blog that will encompass happiness topics, parenting issues, travel experiences and personal reflections.

Since we've seen the value of retaining our old posts in our other blogs, we will soon inform our readers, visitors and subscribers in those blogs that postings about happiness, fatherhood and travel will be continued in this blog instead.  Invitation to visit, follow and subscribe to Happy Parenting Journey will also be sent out in the next few weeks.

Note: the URL http://www.parents-journey.blogspot.com will be retained for Happy Parenting Journey.

“Mama, had Papa told you that you are beautiful? How did you feel? Was it good” That was my 8-year-old son’s query while we were having dinner one night. “Huh?! Why do you ask?” was my surprised response. But before he can explain, I answered his question truthfully so he'll continue to be open about the topic.

“Well, there is this girl in class who is so beautiful and I want to tell her that. I was wondering if she’ll feel good about it.”

“Of course, but consider befriending her first before you tell her that, talk about other things with her, know her likes and dislikes” was Papa Sez’s advice.

“You know, we are always too busy in school and I haven’t got the chance to chat with her, so what I did was show her a thumb’s up sign which means to me…you are beautiful.”

When asked what the girl’s response was, my son flashed a gorgeous grin and said “She also showed me a thumb’s up sign!!!” Talk about LEVEL UP.

In the afternoon of the same day, our 10-year-old daughter informed me that she already knows what’s going on during menstruation because they studied the menstrual cycle in school. She was just wondering if she can handle the pain. But it was only after this conversation with our son that Papa Sez and I finally recognized the level up signal. Our school kids are leveling up and so are we.

Parenting never stops as our children grow; we only level up like in cyber games. In the very popular online game Farmville, we earn more cash and coins and get access to more commodities and equipment, get to do more and even expand our farm as we level up.   For those who'd like to level up their Farmville skills fast, discover Farmville Secrets by clicking on the book icon to the left.

Distinctly, when we level up in parenting, we earn gratification for our every child’s milestones in growth and development; we get to do more depending on the kid’s growth, developmental and social demands; and we also have to expand our horizon and understanding of our kid’s new situation.

For every step that we take as we climb the ladder of Parentingville, we become more enthusiastic about the next. What awaits us in the next chapter of our child’s life? Though the anticipation scares us at times, we carry on because we wouldn’t want to miss our chance…a chance to assist and guide our child in every step of the way, a chance to help in times of difficulty and a chance to rejoice in times of success. So parents, better be equipped with the necessary tools... because before you know it, it’s time to level up again.

Today, hopes are high as Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III takes his oath of office as the new President of the Republic of the Philippines. I have no illusions of a dramatic turnaround of the country's status over the next six years, but I am hoping that a new path towards a better Philippines would be established paving the way for future administrations to reach the illusive dream of becoming a developed country.  One that is able to protect its citizens and provide them with the essentials so each can reach his/her own highest potential (as parents we want this for our children and their children's children).

One of the critical firsts of a series of small steps towards restoring trust in government and in ourselves have already been made in the last national elections. Now the next ones still involves all of us supporting (as well as exhorting) our new President in the work required to effect the changes that we collectively envisioned.

Difficulties are expected as we move away from the status quo and out of each of our personal comfort zones to combat inertia. No one should expect change to be easy and comfortable. In fact, it would take so much of our personal and collective energies and attentions, that we would be tempted to quit.

I for one would start with myself...to be the transition person that Stephen Covey talked about, that brings positive change to my family and community by breaking the flow of negative habits or harmful mindsets from one generation to the next. All of us can be one if we put our minds to it and just take small, steady baby steps one day at a time. It will be worth it!


photo courtesy of tatb4urot

Our 10-year old daughter came home upset late Thursday afternoon. She found out that day that the auditions for the school’s Dance Club was scheduled on the next day and she hasn’t made any preparations for it. Moreover, she also has homework – more than the usual, she claimed. The breaking point perhaps is that her uniform was sprinkled with ink from a ball pen of someone who was messing around in the school service on the way home.

Noticing her troubled face, I inquired when she got to the door, “Hi Rica, is there anything wrong?” With tears coming down her cheeks, she pointed to the black ink peppered on the back of her white blouse and explained that it’s not her fault. “Ok, we’ll ask Mama to fix this for you.”

Then, she went on about the audition and the enormous amount of homework for that night. Obviously overwhelmed, I told her to calm down and to tell me what it was that she needs to do.

It turned out that the biggest concern was the audition. I assured her that her Tita Tin already knows that she was going over after school for an emergency dance coaching session. Then, we agreed that after about an hour of dance practice, we’ll have a nice dinner and then deal with her homework.

So she stopped crying and fixed herself up to go to her Tita’s house.

A week ago, she happily declared that she’s going to join the school’s Art Club. She told us that there’s a maximum membership of 30 for each club. We immediately inquired about the Dance Club and the Glee Club, those directly related to her main interests: dancing and singing. “There’s an audition for the Dance Club!” she exclaimed, “and that would be difficult,” she continued. She claimed to not notice any club related to singing or music.

We already knew that that she didn’t want to audition for fear of not getting in. Being new to the school, she didn’t know what to expect and hesitated to ask anybody in school about it. She felt that getting in to the Art Club is the simplest thing to do as she only needs to sign up and be one of the 30. Besides, her new friends (and it actually turned out that all of the girls except for two) were planning to sign up for the Cooking Club.

She joined the Theatre Club last year in her old school and enjoyed it very much - having all the opportunity to act, dance and sing together with her friends and schoolmates. She said that she has tried cooking and theatre, and now it’s time to try art (probably also inspired by her summer Manga drawing and scrap booking with her Tito Jay and Tita Tin, respectively). She actually got quite good with her Manga sketching and we’ll feature some of her works next time.

We had to give her a nudge to the direction of dancing as we’ve already learned about she being happiest when she dances. This is easily understood as Tita Tin and Mama Sez, on separate instances, have also confessed their love to dance and being happiest when doing it. Fortunately, their love coincides with their talent. Mama Sez blogged about a dance performance and posted a video here.

Of course, she cannot deny what we already knew but had to make up excuses or reasons not to audition. This went on and off in the next days until that Thursday. Tita Tin, Mama Sez and I already discussed it prior to Rica’s realization and we expected her to eventually need to prepare a number for the audition.

It only took her and Tita Tin (and Tito Jay) an hour to come up with a new near perfect dance number to the tune of Kat DeLuna’s “Push Push”. After that, with a smile from ear to ear, Rica’s night was a breeze. Her homework was really just the usual stuff and one can even be postponed as it was for a long-term group project. So with the “it’s in the bag” seal of approval from Mama Sez, Rica confidently looked forward to next day’s auditions.



This time with a wonderful grin, Rica reported the next afternoon that she’s the only fifth grader who auditioned (mostly were sixth and fourth graders), the only one to dance solo (every one else went as a group) and the only one who came prepared with a choreographed number and costume. Of the 32 who went, four backed out when they were asked to perform again by the teacher. Although there was no formal declaration that the 28 remaining students already made it as Dance Club members, the teacher’s instruction that they’ll be meeting next week in the playroom (where there’s more space) and the “very good” she got from the teacher as well as the cheers and applause of approval from the other students, Rica confidently declared that she made it.

So much apprehension for nothing it seemed. I took her aside to congratulate her and to let her know that it’s also okay to not get what we aim for as long as we did our best. This is by knowing that battles may already be lost by not trying, or it could already be won by just showing up. The fear of failure is paralyzing and may lead to nothing but “could have beens”. Indeed, it takes one to know one.



Original photo by aussiegall

Today, I rode the school service with our eight-year-old son. It was not what I had in mind when Mama Sez informed me yesterday that only primary school pupils are scheduled today to have their two-hour orientation for the new school year, and so one of us can take our eldest daughter’s spot in the school service.

It’s good that Mama Sez convinced me to go with our son. It was a chance to show him that he is important and deserves my undivided attention. Besides it’s also his first day in a new, bigger school, and also his first time to ride a school service.

We’ve been psyching our school kids up in recent days to slowly switch them from vacation mode and for them to anticipate a more challenging school environment; not only because they have to adjust to a new school, but also because this particular Montessori school incorporates certain traditional practices that they are not used to.

Besides checking out the school cafeteria and other facilities, I also had time to buy their textbooks and school uniform. I eagerly waited to get some feedback on how it is in his new class. I got the chance when I spotted him on his way to the toilet and got some affirmative remarks from him such as “(his classmates are) not cruel and are actually nice” and “yes, I spoke in class.”

I got more affirmation in the vehicle on our way back when he finally broke his silence and got into an animated conversation with the boys his age. His confidence was showing when he also asked for the name of a younger girl who was part of the group but was silent when he entered the discussion with the boys.

I am confident that he’ll do just fine on his own tomorrow. Well as far as I can tell, he already did better than I did when I was his age in terms of chatting with new acquaintances on the first day of a new school. Now that’s enough to warm my heart for today I did well as a parent.

Note: This is the second in a series of articles on Discipline Methods introduced in Discipline and Parenting Style.  If you missed the first one, I recommend that you read it first- Discipline Methods: Communication and Role Modeling. This series on discipline will be published every Friday so please check back regularly or subscribe via email or follow us at Twitter or Facebook (buttons are at the bottom right corner as well).

Merit system focuses on positive behavior and preventive measures rather than punitive actions to improve discipline, while demerit system emphasizes consequences and accountability. Merit and demerit system is commonly applied in schools but can also be implemented at home. This article simply sums up discipline methods that provide acknowledgment and reward for good behavior and effective consequences for misbehavior. These are in agreement with the four principles of how behavior develops. It is said that behavior is strengthened or weakened by its consequences. For sure, you would want to strengthen a good behavior and the best way to achieve it is by rendering positive consequences such as the following:

• a hug 
• a kiss 
• a pat on the back 
• a word of encouragement and praise 
• a smile 
• a wink 
• a thumbs up sign 
• a token in a jar 
• a plus point on a merit/demerit chart 
• other small tokens of appreciation related to the good behavior exhibited.

Better catch them being good and never miss a chance to recognize the said behavior. Just make sure to give genuine and age appropriate positive consequences. This is also referred to as positive reinforcement. When the doer receives the positive consequences of his/her good behavior then the behavior is reinforced. The tendency is for the child to consistently do it to take advantage of the benefits.

Creating a positive home wherein parents consistently laugh with their children, share lots of positive and appropriate physical interactions and talk to them in pleasant, supportive and nonjudgmental ways, not just promote positive behavior in children but lessen the incidence of inappropriate behavior as well.

To weaken bad or inappropriate behavior and eventually prevent it from occurring again, the doer should face the negative consequence. It is like letting experience be the best teacher. Giving effective consequence to misbehavior is where more parents fail. A negative consequence will only be effective if it prevents the bad behavior from getting repeated over and over. When the behavior gets weaker or stops from reoccurring it is only then that the behavior is punished. It should be clear that the intention is for the child to face the negative consequence of misbehavior and in the process punish the misbehavior (not the child) by weakening it or stopping it from happening again.

There are three kinds of negative consequences for misbehavior:

1. Natural- as the name implies occur naturally. If a child doesn’t like to eat during regular mealtimes, don’t force feed; let nature run its course. The child will get hungry eventually. Make the hunger be felt for a little while as you explain the natural consequence of bad eating habits before you offer him food, to make room for learning.
2. Logical- rules or amends that you agreed with your child. If a child cannot control himself in the grocery store and behaves inappropriately, keeps on disarranging displays and/or putting stuff in the cart without your permission or keeps running around despite your several attempts to control his misbehavior then it is but logical not to allow the child to go to the grocery store anymore until both parties arrived at a new agreement.
3. Social- the ill feeling of tarnishing relationships teaches conflict management. If a child hurts a playmate or execute deliberate annoyance like knocking over others’ block tower or throwing away puzzle pieces, then that child should know that nobody else would play with a person that behaves that way and no parent would allow his/her child to get close to a misbehaving fellow.

An important point worth noting is about the child’s desire for parental attention. If a child misbehaves to get your attention then learn to ignore attention-getting behaviors and let the child face the negative consequence. Giving him the attention he wants when he misbehaves, rewards the misbehavior and reinforces it. More attention should be given when good behavior is done rather than waiting for misbehavior to happen before giving the attention that the child needs.

Parents should have realistic expectations on their children and should not allow fatal consequences to occur. Ensure a safe, engaging and positive learning environment for the children, take care of yourself and be an effective role model. Try to maintain the child’s respect and maintain the credibility of being the most reputable person to award the merits and demerits of their behavior.


NEXT: Discipline Methods: Time-Out and Reverse Time-Out
 
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photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/ajawin/ / CC BY 2.0

Note: This is the first in a series of articles on Discipline Methods introduced last Friday in Discipline and Parenting Style. This series on discipline will be published every Friday so please check back regularly or subscribe via email or follow us at Twitter or Facebook (buttons are at the bottom right corner as well).

Communication is a process of transferring information from one person to another. It is a way to impart or interchange thoughts, opinions or information by verbal/auditory and non-verbal means. Communication could be one-way (unidirectional) but in human relationships, including that of a parent and child, two-way communication has always been proven better.

In child discipline, communication is key to success. Regardless of the discipline method you are employing, the manner in which you communicate with your child will most likely determine your success. Here are some important points:

1. Child age appropriateness: The manner you communicate should be appropriate to the child’s age. When the reasoning skills of a child are not yet well developed, you cannot expect a child to always meet your expectations by giving direct instructions. In this case, positive reinforcement yields better results. Remember that at this stage of the child’s development, he is only taking cues on how you respond to his every behavior and not because you say so. Focus on what the child is doing right, offer more attention and encouragement whenever the child is doing something you want him to repeat over and over, and that is what you’ll get. Again, you do not communicate to your child at this stage by giving direct instructions; rather you reinforce good behavior by responding positively whenever he has done something right. An applause, a smile, kiss, hug or any expression of appreciation and love is a better way of communicating what you want him to do.
   
   When a child turns 18 months to 2 years until he reaches 6 years of age, verbal instructions with explanations may start to become effective because at this stage, he can now process more information. As the child’s verbal abilities improve, you can explain more things to him.
2. The two-way traffic: Whenever you give direct instructions, offer explanations, be clear, precise and firm but don’t forget to listen. Set the boundaries and limitations, and define your standards up front. Firmly state your reasonable expectations from him but explain why by stating the advantages of doing it and the consequences of not doing it. A child deserves explanation as much as parents do. Then practice good listening skills. Take time to listen what the child has to say and wait for his affirmation that he understands your point. Be amaze at how cooperative a child can be if he knows that his thoughts and opinion matter.
   
   A healthy two-way communication between a parent and a child preserves the respect in each other and lessens the likelihood of putting each other in a demeaning situation.
3. Being consistent: Teaching appropriate behavior would require several repetitions before it is learned. Being consistent with the behavioral standards and limitations you communicate to your child establishes your credibility that you know what you are talking about and that you are serious in imposing them. Being consistent would avoid confusion as well.
   
   Children without boundaries feel insecure and unsure where they stand, but when there are boundaries they tend to test the strength of those boundaries and the consequences of going beyond the limits. A constant reminder should be given to the child consistent with the set behavioral standards and limitations such that the same message is conveyed from the 1st to the nth time you say it, unless a revision in the standard is deemed necessary. If a child defiantly breaks the boundary in spite of your best effort to properly and consistently communicate behavioral standards and limitations, make sure you are ready to apply other appropriate discipline method to bring him back to where he should stand.
4. The truth and nothing but the truth: Whether you are dealing with a young child or an older kid, tell him straight facts. Do not try to invent stories or characters to make a child follow the rules. You will be risking the loss of child’s trust in you in the event that he discovers the truth. If the child is smart enough, he can immediately tell if you are just making it up and you will definitely appear silly. For instance, never tell a child “to sleep early so Dracula won’t get him”. Telling him directly the health benefits of good rest and sleep to a growing child will be better appreciated. Then help him by implementing ways of promoting good sleeping habits in children.
5. Say what you mean and mean what you say: When giving consequences to misbehavior, make sure these are doable and have it done if the situation calls for it. For example, you want your child to finish his homework before he can watch television. Fine, but what will happen if he doesn’t obey? You can come up with various consequences for misbehavior, like disobedience would result in him not allowed to watching television for one whole week. Tell this to him directly and make sure that the whole week NO TV punishment is implemented in case he disobeys. Never say “I’ll crush the TV on your head if I see you watching before the homework in done!” You can never do that to your child and your child knows that so the communication becomes ineffective if done in this manner.

Role modeling is a discipline method, but may also be regarded as a form of communication. You communicate to a child what he should do by setting yourself as an example. The child, especially in the formative years of his life mimics his parents or other older figures at home, in school and the community. This behavior should be capitalized most especially by parents and teachers by acting appropriately such that the child learns appropriate behavior.

Role modeling is an effective means of child discipline but requires a lot of discipline to the role model himself. Start by asking yourself this question, “Being a role model, am I self disciplined?” Dr. Robyn Silverman posed more questions to guide role models. Be a positive role model and follow the seven ways to make a positive impact on children enumerated by Dr. Robyn Silverman. Read them using this link and judge for yourself if it makes sense to you. Make yourself worthy of a child’s admiration…be his mentor…and start with yourself.

NEXT: Discipline Methods: Merits and Demerits
 
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UPDATE: The next discipline methods article is already posted-- Discipline Methods: Merits and Demerits

The topic about children's birthday celebration came up over the weekend as my daughter and her cousin had an instant joint birthday celebration. It's actually an advanced celebration as her cousin had to leave for Australia tomorrow. Her family spent part of the holidays with us in time for a family reunion and a wedding early this month. All these family activities also explains the lull in this part of the blogosphere in the past few weeks

Children's birthday celebrations are big events for every family. Remembering the arrival of each bundle of joy always delights parents; and for kids, this is the time to enjoy being the center of attention and more often than not having their wishes granted. Every family may have varying ways of commemorating a member’s birthday, but for certain, the foremost objective is to bring happiness to the celebrant and to show gratefulness for the gift of life and good health.

Family circumstances like financial status, location, work and other commitments as well as cultural tradition may have played a role in how we celebrate our children’s big day. But in general, celebrating their birthdays has continuously evolved as they grow because we make it a point to consider their view of what a happy celebration should be. It is their day anyway, right?

It has been a practice in our community (probably in many others, too) that the first and seventh birthdays of a child should be celebrated. I asked why, but the explanations given to me when I was younger did not seem to suffice. It was only when I already have a child of my own did it sink that infancy is the most vulnerable stage in the life of a child. The family has to go through a lot of anxieties regarding the baby’s health and well-being such that having reached her first birthday indeed calls for a celebration. The seventh birthday is celebrated for the milestones in the child’s development. This is the time when a child already engages in serious education in the academics, social skills development and practical life. It is also the stage when a child is developing friendships with kids of similar ages in school and in the neighborhood, whom he/she can celebrate the day with.

Below are some basic guidelines we follow in celebrating our children’s birthday. It may or may not apply directly to others but certainly, some aspects are worth considering.

• Try to be consistent in handling each child’s birthday celebration. It doesn’t have to be the same in everything but there are key points that should not be ignored. For our three kids who had celebrated their first birthday, all of them had banners printed on cloth or tarp, a cake with lighted candle to blow and a theme corresponding to their interests at that time. When they are older and would like to review what happened on their 365th day on earth outside Mama’s womb, they can tell from the photos how important each one is and how they are equally loved by their parents.

• Consult the celebrant. A child’s concept of celebration is largely influenced by that of the parents'. But as they grow older and seek individuality, their concept of enjoyment and happiness would eventually differ from them. For the seventh birthday of our older kids, we felt the time was right to solicit their ideas on how they want the celebration to happen. Considering all limitations, we made do of what was feasible. If you are afraid that the child might ask something unaffordable, I have to say it is not always the case. You’ll be surprised to hear their simple wishes. Besides, if what they want is not feasible, compromises can be made.

For their seventh birthday, a bubble show school party for my daughter whose birthday falls on a school day and a family gathering for my son whose birthday falls on a summer school break were memorable events for them that did not cost us much. My daughter wished for a school party with lots of games to play. I can’t be a party host so I seek professional help that led me to a bubble show package. Because I paid for a party host, I had to cut cost somewhere. I decided to cook the food myself instead of having it catered and I didn’t buy her a new dress for the occasion. She was too willing to give up a new dress because she got too excited with the bubble show concept. My son wished for a school party as well but it was not possible because his birthday falls on summer break. Fortunately, we came up with the idea of making him "King for a day" and for the rest of the family to grant the King’s wishes. With a cheap crown and an old cape, the King decided what movie to watch on DVD, what food to eat and what game to play. Who wouldn’t be so elated?

• When the child is older, let her/him plan for the event. As we train our children to become independent, we encourage them to be vocal with what they want and let them take part in making it happen. The ninth birthday of my daughter became a milestone for her because she got the chance to plan every detail of the event. She informed me of her plans and asked for approval and assistance in the execution. She chose her closest friends to be with her on what she called a “girls night out”. Days before the event, she held meetings with her friends to chart out their night out. Together with her friends, she decided in which restaurant to eat, what food to order and then pay the bill herself using her savings. My husband and I were seated on a separate table and had to pay for our own meal…funny eh. They did a lot of other girl stuff together and enjoyed so much that their giggles linger in the air throughout the night. Their uncontainable excitement as I picked them up from school and the joyful singing inside the car as we drove each of them home assured me that the event was really a success. Our involvement was limited to asking permission from the parents, shuttling them from school to the mall and then to each girl’s house, and of course to chaperon and run some errands for them.

Now that the shopping galore for baby things is over and you have prepared your hospital bags, you might ask, what else do you need to do before your baby arrives? Actually, a lot needs to be done to make the baby’s arrival as smooth as possible. Here are some suggestions.

1. Decide your birthing option. By this time you should have an idea on how you want to deliver your baby. If not, educate yourself on the pros and cons of the various birthing options by reading books and magazines, searching from the internet and talking to experienced mothers. You might also want to consider watching videos of child deliveries employing the various options.
   
   There are lots of birthing options to choose from. You can have it the natural way without any drugs (Lamaze, Bradley, Birthworks, etc.), natural with anesthetic pain management, or C-section. If you have made the decision, then preparations toward that option should be made, like enrollment and attendance to birthing classes when applicable. Discuss this fully with your obstetrician-gynecologist (OB).
   

2. Tour the birthing site. Go to where you want to deliver your baby and have a nice tour to familiarize yourself with the place and with the procedure. Inquire on the process/requirements for hospital admission. In some hospitals, you will not be allowed to see the inside of the delivery room but at least you would know where the rooms and other facilities are. Find out if the hospital is Mother-Baby friendly that would allow rooming-in and would support breastfeeding if those are your preferences.

3. Prepare yourself physically and emotionally. At this point, your OB might advise you to increase intake of foods rich in iron and prescribe iron supplement if she has not done before. Towards the end of pregnancy, it is advisable for you to have lots of restful sleep but remain active during most parts of the day. Regular prenatal exercise is preferable as discussed in blissful pregnancy tip #5. Active mom’s usually have relatively easier and uncomplicated natural deliveries.

Enhance emotional connection between you and your baby. Caress your tummy and talk to your baby. In all my pregnancies, I usually talk to my baby about childbirth few weeks from my due date, asking for his/her cooperation and giving my assurance that anytime he/she is ready, I am, for childbirth should be a team effort and the two of us are part of the team. I also tell how excited I am to see him/her and that I will continue to provide for his/her needs even outside my womb.

While you are still waiting for the big day, try envisioning the thrill of having your child on you hands, looking at his/her tiny lips that greet you with a smile. The joy will be far greater than the fears and anxiety of childbirth and will make you endure all discomforts. While I was on the delivery table, my focal point was the wall clock, I was keeping track of my contractions, and around it was a bare wall which I filled with nice pictures of me, my husband and my baby, together as a happy family. These were the visions that I've been keeping in my mind and heart since early in my pregnancy.

4. Arrange Domestic Matters. If you have other children, start thinking about sibling care. Arrange for who’s going to be there for them, who will be in-charge of food preparation and other domestic concerns while you are in the hospital. You might want to stock up on easy-to-prepare food in your freezer. If you are a working mom and needs to go back to work after your maternity leave, then now is the time to arrange for child care. Make sure the area where you are going to receive the baby in the house is clean and tidy.

5. Start a hobby. Despite the many things you need to do to prepare for childbirth, you might still find yourself spending time on futile musings about labor pain and blood, and even death from complications. These are normal and to a certain extent reasonable thoughts, but instead of feeding your worries, why not start a hobby that will keep your mind away from all those fears. Try embroidery on your baby clothes, or crochet a pair of booties or cross stitch a symbol of happiness. Regardless of your choice, or you might choose not to do it at all, remember that your baby is worth much much more than the entire wait.
   

6. Select your Baby's Name. This is a fun part that could also alleviate the discomforts and impatience while waiting for the big day. My husband and I had many enjoyable discussions while trying to come up with our baby's name. These are the moments when we share and (re)define our hopes and dreams for our baby and the family. Each of the names of our children were picked for a reason and has special meaning to us. Baby naming sites like this one was useful to us when we were deciding.
7. Plan the Announcement. After the long wait is the big day of your baby’s arrival. It is yours and your husband’s duty to announce the arrival of your bundle of joy so that he/she can be properly welcomed by your family and friends who are one with you in anticipating the newest addition to your family. Decide on the list of people whom you want to send the announcement to. Examples of announcement ideas include a simple text message with the child’s photo, a card bearing your child’s foot prints, a mass offering, an envelope with tobacco stick for a baby boy and a chocolate bar for a baby girl, a photo or video of you child posted on the home page of your social network account and many more. You can also be creative like this overzealous father.