This is just to share our brief talk with Rica’s piano teacher as he sends us to the door after the lesson earlier this week. He said, “Rica, continue with your lessons and don’t stop playing the piano for someday you can replace Teacher (pointing his way). Whatever your profession may be, you can always play the piano or give lessons to children like what I do (he is a mathematician by profession who has passion for music). I will have you inherit my collections of books and all that I use to teach piano to children.”

We gave him our warm smile, said thank you and bid goodbye. As we walked home, I felt like crying because I was so touched with Teacher’s words. Consistent with what he told me during their first lesson, he sincerely believes in Rica’s musical giftedness.

I remembered Dr. Leonila Corpuz-Raros, the Mother of Philippine Acarology, my mentor, my friend. She saw me to be the next Acarologist who can continue with what she has started and who can have new beginnings in the field as well. She would also have me inherit her collections of specimens, books and journals…she believes in me.

For people of high standards, whom you look up to with high regard, to tell you they believe in you and in what good you can contribute to humanity is the best compliment you could ever ask for. It can erase any doubt you have in yourself and will motivate you to become better and pave the way in your pursuit of excellence.

As parents, we consciously show to our children our confidence in their capabilities because we understand that believing is being. Yes, we should be someone who believes in them, but we must not fall into the trap of false praising. When the child is made to believe that he is already doing great in something, he might think that no further improvement is necessary and consequently halt the development of his full potential. Another trap we might fall into is becoming delusional (believing into something our child is not and making the child believe in it as well). Start with discovering and enriching your child’s true talents then be someone who appreciates who he/she really is and who believes in his/her unique abilities.

For Rica it's music...and with her participation, we programmed her summer activities to include piano and guitar lessons.  We hope to showcase what she has accomplished by the end of summer in a recital and music video (can't wait to share it with all of you...hehehe).

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: he believed in me."  -Jim Valvano

Our older son arrived home yesterday disappointed. You see, Leon and his older sister Rica qualified to participate in the school-wide science quiz contests after hurdling the elimination round in their respective classes. They made adequate preparations over a long weekend that was full of family activities, including an afternoon at the park, a night watching Narnia 3, and the usual outside frolics and longer computer time. The weekend was also extra special because of the bicycle gift Rica received for her birthday from her Titos (uncles) and everyone was just excited to try it out.

After getting my attention away from the laptop, Mama Sez steered me towards Leon who was in front of the shoe rack with tears in his eyes. I immediately picked him up and while leading him to the bedroom, asked him what’s the matter.

After a bit of coaxing, he eventually related that he was upset because a classmate got the gold, while he didn’t even reach the clincher round. He got the third place.

“I know more than he does, and at a higher level“, said he, unhappy about the less than expected results and trying to find an explanation for the discrepancy.

Realizing that he was making comparisons, we tried to deflect his focus to his confidence that he is on a different level as far as science is concern.

“It’s okay to be sad and to cry. Contests are like that, there are winners and losers. But what’s important is you know that you are good at science and you can be the best at it. Quiz contests are not the only measure of one’s proficiency.”

“Moreover, Mama and I believe that you, indeed, have a different level of interest, knowledge and understanding of science. That’s why you can be the inventor or anything that you (eventually) want to be.”

We reminded him about their training in Abba’s Orchard Montessori School- that is, more of cooperating than competing with classmates.

“You compete with yourself, so that you get better at want you are good at and at what you wannabe.”

“Comparing yourself to someone else is not going to be healthy if that’s all you’re focusing on because you’ll always find some who are better than you, so you’ll get frustrated, and others who are worse, then you’ll get conceited.”

Leon’s paradigm has shifted to the merit system of exams, grades and contests in his new school, which is more representative of the traditional school system in the country. And he’s actually really good at it, having aced exams, getting high grades and winning contests. But somehow, he has to balance this with the better paradigm of cooperation and interdependence that he was taught at home and in Abba’s Orchard for four years.

While declaring that he’s okay now, we reemphasized that we believe in him and we know that he is talented, and that we love him no matter what.

“Mama, isn’t it that when you capture hot air, like in a balloon, it will go up?” That was when we were assured that he’s really over it.

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