After a hectic day with two recognition programs for our school kids, Rica and Leon, who were both Academic Excellence Awardees (Gold Medalists), two meetings and a birthday dinner for our two-year old daughter, we still managed to wrap the day watching a Tinkerbell movie. It wasn’t our choice but it was what’s available in my brother’s collections that we haven’t watched yet, which turned out to be perfect for the day of recognition and birthday.

The story began with the birth of a new girl fairy. It was Rica who pointed out that fairies are born with every baby's first laugh. This particular fairy found out that she's going to be one of the tinkers, the fairies who make and fix things. She was then named Tinkerbell.

Watch how she found out she's a tinker and see her disinterest in her own talent right from the start (go to 04:50 in the video below).



She later longed to visit the mainland but learned that only nature-talent fairies are allowed to do so. Though she was good in doing the task assigned to her, employing her talent, she was never contented; she wanted to be something she was not meant to be. She tried her hand at nature skills but miserably failed in all of them. In fact, Tinkerbell destroyed all the preparations for spring in the pursuit of her misguided dream. When she realized the importance of her role as a tinker through her conversation with Terrence, the light-keeper, she decided to fix all the damages she made in no time such that spring can push through as scheduled. She invented machines that speed up the process of decorating flowers, lady beetles, etc., and summoned the rest to help her out. Spring pushed through, Tinkerbell redeemed herself and was even allowed by Queen Clarion to visit the mainland.  An adversity that turned into an opportunity.

The movie taught us many lessons but I will discuss two that I recommend to parents to seriously ponder upon: (1) how to discover and appreciate one's own talent, and (2) the importance of working in synergy. Let us guide our children in discovering their own talent and appreciate it rather than they wanting to become somebody else because they don’t see the value of their own talent and potential contribution. Feeling secured about their role in a group, a family, a community, or an institution will allow them to work in harmony with the rest toward the attainment of a common goal.

(1) Talent is something you were born with.  Discovering, honing and appreciating it is very important in your happiness and success. This is what we teach our children and what Tinkerbell failed to do in the beginning. We do not want them to pursue things just because others are doing it; otherwise they'll get frustrated and may become who they are not. Early in their childhood, we want them to try lots of different things to be able to discover their talents so they would know how to enhance that talent and to be grateful for having such.  

Your talent is in action when you produce a great deal of output with less effort on your part but with so much happiness in your heart. When enhanced with the necessary skills and combined with knowledge, talent becomes strength.

(2) Synergy means 1 + 1 = 16. This is not poor mathematics but an illustration of the catalytic, unifying and empowering impact of creative cooperation exhibited by the fairies who worked together to save spring.  When Tinkerbell learned to value differences, respect them and focus on her strength, she was able to prove her worth and opened new possibilities.  She was able to work in synergy with the other fairies and they were able to accomplish a mission next to impossible.  Appreciating the value of each and every individual’s contribution empowers everybody to deliver more than what is expected of them…that includes appreciating your own value.  

Let us inculcate in the minds of our children the value of knowing and believing in thyself, the beauty of each person's uniqueness, and respect for these differences.  Believe in the miracle of synergy wherein the whole becomes more than just the sum of its parts.

These lessons from the movie have the same essence in the response I made to my son’s query: “Mom, I am happy that I got a gold medal, but is Recognition Day important?”

Coming from Abba's Orchard School, a pure Montessori school since his Junior Casa days where pupils are not given numerical grades and are not ranked, today is his first Recognition Day ever and his second gold medal. The first one was when he won first place in a Spelling Bee. In that school they were taught to compete only with oneself so they continue to strive for excellence, and at the same time they are encouraged to cooperate with others. Because they continued to live this Maria Montessori value, I was not surprised that even as transferees, they were able to adjust well and excel academically.

This was my response; “Yes Leon, in this school they are recognizing pupils with scholastic achievement, with consistent good manners, as well as those who excelled in Quiz Bees and Sports Competitions. This motivates children to perform well in those areas. But more than medals, plaques and trophies, we want you to strive to be THE BEST THAT YOU CAN BE and NOT focus on trying to outdo others (i.e. comparing and competing with others). We do this by focusing on your talents and making them your strengths. You contribute more to the family and to society when you do more of the things that you do best, respecting what others do best but not to the point of wanting to be exactly like them.”

Note: One of Leon’s key talents is being a learner so we provide him the resources and opportunities for learning. He is also a science enthusiast and we support the experiments he wants to perform to test his ideas. He also has naturalistic intelligence so we let him explore his surroundings even if it means more insect bites. His interpersonal intelligence allows him to share his ideas to his playmates and every new person he meets. We know that he can never be an athlete so we don’t force the issue on him. He takes swimming lessons and plays ball games for skills development but we know that athletics will never be his strength and this didn’t diminish our love for him, not even a notch.

It’s his first time in a traditional school where students are given numerical grades and often compete with each other.  We didn’t expect too much from him in terms of scholastic achievements because we anticipate a tough adjustment period for a child who was never exposed to graded recitations, quizzes, long tests, quarterly final exams and contests.  Based on the teachings of Maria Montessori, what he understands is competing with himself that meant continual self-improvement without comparing himself with others. Oh boy! We underestimated him.  His grades for the first quarter are all excellent. 

Probably, it helped that we give him the support parents can provide at home and equip him whatever he might need but the moment he rides the school service, he faces his battle on his own. 

Last week, he handed me a letter from school that says he will represent their class in a spelling competition because apparently he topped the elimination portion.  When he asked what and how to review for spelling, I just told him to continue what he loves doing…READING.  He is a voracious reader and loves spending time in the library.  That’s how he encounters lots of words, understands their meaning and be familiar with their spelling.  Unfortunately, Papa Sez and I can’t make it to watch the contest proper so we just coached him to stay focused, listen carefully to the Quiz Master and write legibly.  We assured him that WIN or LOSE we LOVE him just the same. 

Guess what? He came home with a gold medal! Note that his hands were covering his ears as he relays the good news for he knows that I will scream in excitement.  He’s right I really did scream so loud, lol.  I sincerely apologized for not being able to witness the momentous event but told him I was intently praying for him.  He was astonished to hear that as he recounted feeling my presence during the contest.  I had goose bumps, was teary-eyed, grateful for my son’s achievement and so blessed to feel God’s presence.

But then, I realized that the idea of competition had not completely sink in when he asked “Mama, I misspelled some words, why did I win the gold medal?” “Maybe because the other contestants had more misspelled words than what you had…you don’t always need a perfect score to win” was my wild guess. Competitive or not, he is up for the next level of spelling competition come February 2011. CHEERS FOR LEON!!!

“Mama, had Papa told you that you are beautiful? How did you feel? Was it good” That was my 8-year-old son’s query while we were having dinner one night. “Huh?! Why do you ask?” was my surprised response. But before he can explain, I answered his question truthfully so he'll continue to be open about the topic.

“Well, there is this girl in class who is so beautiful and I want to tell her that. I was wondering if she’ll feel good about it.”

“Of course, but consider befriending her first before you tell her that, talk about other things with her, know her likes and dislikes” was Papa Sez’s advice.

“You know, we are always too busy in school and I haven’t got the chance to chat with her, so what I did was show her a thumb’s up sign which means to me…you are beautiful.”

When asked what the girl’s response was, my son flashed a gorgeous grin and said “She also showed me a thumb’s up sign!!!” Talk about LEVEL UP.

In the afternoon of the same day, our 10-year-old daughter informed me that she already knows what’s going on during menstruation because they studied the menstrual cycle in school. She was just wondering if she can handle the pain. But it was only after this conversation with our son that Papa Sez and I finally recognized the level up signal. Our school kids are leveling up and so are we.

Parenting never stops as our children grow; we only level up like in cyber games. In the very popular online game Farmville, we earn more cash and coins and get access to more commodities and equipment, get to do more and even expand our farm as we level up.   For those who'd like to level up their Farmville skills fast, discover Farmville Secrets by clicking on the book icon to the left.

Distinctly, when we level up in parenting, we earn gratification for our every child’s milestones in growth and development; we get to do more depending on the kid’s growth, developmental and social demands; and we also have to expand our horizon and understanding of our kid’s new situation.

For every step that we take as we climb the ladder of Parentingville, we become more enthusiastic about the next. What awaits us in the next chapter of our child’s life? Though the anticipation scares us at times, we carry on because we wouldn’t want to miss our chance…a chance to assist and guide our child in every step of the way, a chance to help in times of difficulty and a chance to rejoice in times of success. So parents, better be equipped with the necessary tools... because before you know it, it’s time to level up again.

It’s been two weeks since our two older kids started school. They are in a new school, new environment, new policies and lots of other things new to them. Some of the changes were immediately accepted like wearing of school uniform.

With their former Montessori school, for four years, they enjoyed the freedom of deciding what to wear...no uniform, except for P.E.  Surprisingly, they enthusiastically welcomed wearing one now. They are always excited to wear them and even thought of it as “cool.” Rica even complemented her younger brother with "Ang pogi ni Leon" when the latter wore his uniform for the first time.

Before, they only need to carry a small bag with extra clothes, food and a blue binder where parent notices and some school works are inserted (also, each student have their own locker in school). This time, they need to carry 7 to 8 textbooks, 7 to 8 notebooks (depending on grade level), pad papers, crayons, and other school materials every day. A bigger and sturdier bag is therefore a must. The question is… do my children have the strength and endurance to carry all those stuff?

We tried using our son’s old backpack and bought a similar one (only it’s pink) for our daughter. The bags look big and robust enough to contain all the required school materials. However, the very first time they carried the bag, they immediately complained of its enormous weight. They can hardly lift it. Still we decided to give it a try and hope that the kids get used to it.

It was explained to them that trolley bags are too expensive and besides a little more exertion on their part to carry their bags makes them tougher kids. We admired them for obediently abiding by the decision. But one morning as Papa Sez was carrying the bag to the school shuttle service, the strap of Leon’s bag broke. He even attested that even an adult with small body built will have difficulty walking with it, let alone climb the stairs. Heavy school bags have been linked to back problems like lower back pain, poor posture, spinal deformity over time and other back injuries manifested only in adulthood. The daily burden has also been found to cause neck pain, shoulder strain, headaches and general exhaustion. It was said that carrying more than 10% the child’s body weight is too much but we noted that our kids have been carrying loads of about one third their body weight.

Then one Friday night, Rica, who has been carrying a heavier bag and had to carry that weight to the second floor where her classroom is situated (the school actually has male assistants assigned to carry the bags up the stairs for the students), broke her silence. “Mom, please don’t wake me up very early tomorrow. I need lots of time to sleep and recover. I am really tired with my shoulders badly aching. School is fun if only I don’t need to carry a very heavy bag.”

A new decision came in quickly…we need to get them trolley bags or their health would suffer. Trolley bags for school provide the convenience of carrying loads of things while keeping them organized inside, but the price is equivalent or even more expensive than heavy duty traveling bags. Well, they are made of the same materials.

The season for buying school materials was almost over when the kids and I finally get to the store to buy their trolley bags, which actually got us a good deal!  Most school bags were marked down for the second time already and the ones we bought were about 30% cheaper than the original price.

Now they are happier with their trolley bags at work and not their backs.

Today, I rode the school service with our eight-year-old son. It was not what I had in mind when Mama Sez informed me yesterday that only primary school pupils are scheduled today to have their two-hour orientation for the new school year, and so one of us can take our eldest daughter’s spot in the school service.

It’s good that Mama Sez convinced me to go with our son. It was a chance to show him that he is important and deserves my undivided attention. Besides it’s also his first day in a new, bigger school, and also his first time to ride a school service.

We’ve been psyching our school kids up in recent days to slowly switch them from vacation mode and for them to anticipate a more challenging school environment; not only because they have to adjust to a new school, but also because this particular Montessori school incorporates certain traditional practices that they are not used to.

Besides checking out the school cafeteria and other facilities, I also had time to buy their textbooks and school uniform. I eagerly waited to get some feedback on how it is in his new class. I got the chance when I spotted him on his way to the toilet and got some affirmative remarks from him such as “(his classmates are) not cruel and are actually nice” and “yes, I spoke in class.”

I got more affirmation in the vehicle on our way back when he finally broke his silence and got into an animated conversation with the boys his age. His confidence was showing when he also asked for the name of a younger girl who was part of the group but was silent when he entered the discussion with the boys.

I am confident that he’ll do just fine on his own tomorrow. Well as far as I can tell, he already did better than I did when I was his age in terms of chatting with new acquaintances on the first day of a new school. Now that’s enough to warm my heart for today I did well as a parent.

Since Casa 3 (Preparatory to Grade 1) our kids are in school the whole day.  It is part of the Abba’s Orchard School practical life curriculum to train the children on table manners and use of eating utensils. As the child constantly take lunch on his own, he advances to independence. Wow, I just realized that I have been preparing our kids’ lunchboxes for 4 years now. I didn’t notice it’s been that long, probably because I am enjoying and getting much satisfaction doing it. Having to wake up at 5 o’clock in the morning every school day to prepare healthy but enjoyable lunch and snack treats for our school kids, on top of a healthy breakfast for everybody, is a challenge I am taking with pleasure.

I have been consistently preparing their lunchboxes using the following criteria:

• Variety and Nutrition- go, grow and glow foods should be well-represented and whatever is prepared today should not be repeated tomorrow. No artificial juice, only plain water and milk or choco-milk for their drinks.
• Taste and Preference- finding out their food preferences through consultations and observations, and incorporating those foods in the menu if possible. My daughter’s favorite is cooked ham so I give it to her one day a week. Another favorite is bacon, which they get to enjoy once in four weeks only because of health and cost considerations.
• Perfect Combination- combining food types and recipes that go perfectly together like fried chicken + steamed veggies, and grilled fish + buttered veggies.
• Volume- finding the right balance between how much would satisfy them and how much they should consume to satisfy their nutritional requirement is important. Neither do I want them hungry because their food was not enough nor for them to bring home left-over food for the trash bin. (The school doesn’t tolerate this as well :D)
• Presentation and Color- for most people, especially children, presentation counts. A nicely presented food gets them excited and would entice them to eat. While color contributes a lot to the presentation, it also speaks of the food’s nutritional value. A multi-colored food preparation will more likely supply the varied nutritional requirement of growing children better than a single color dish. So a fried pork chop which is colored brown will be better served with green and orange vegetables and a yellow fruit for dessert.
• Convenience and Safety- making life easier for them by preparing for them simple, easy to eat foods. Boneless and fillet for fish and breast cut for the chicken are the best. Pork or beef are sliced into bite-sized pieces or small strips. Fruits are pre-washed and sliced for them.
• Surprise Factor- often, whatever is packed is not known to them to keep them guessing and inject some excitement. From time to time, I surprise them by adding fruits they love but don’t get to eat often (like grapes) or a piece of chocolate, which they don’t get to eat often as well. With this trick, I earned my halo points

This was how my kids’ lunch looked like yesterday: Boiled Lady Fingers with Soy Sauce-Lemon Dip, Boneless Garlic Milkfish and Ripe Mango Cubes. For their snacks; Egg Sandwich, Banana and Fresh Milk.

Today, they will be having Fried Chicken, Tomato, Lettuce and Cucumber Salad in Vinaigrette, and Mandarin for their lunch. For snacks, it will be Peanut Butter Sandwich, Apple and Choco-Milk.

My kids now noticed (and their teachers, too) that among their classmates, they are the only ones consistently eating vegetables in school and they are proud of it. When they open their lunchboxes, theirs are the most varied and colorful, and yummy as well. During our daily gratitude ritual after dinner, they would usually say they are thankful to me and for the food. This signals success in my healthy lunchbox challenge, Yippee!