Some of us may have naively thought that a 50/50 split in doing house chores, child rearing and earning money for the family is the best practice for humans. But I think many of us who adopted the traditional arrangement with a modern twist have better results when it comes to the level of happiness for all members of the family. The modern twist I am referring to is the compromise to incorporate modern realities like the need for additional income and more opportunities for women in the workforce.

Explanations why fair does not necessarily mean equal include differences in the biology of each gender, including differences at the level of the brain to the level of manifested behavior (heard of "equal but different"?), cultural and religious tenets and conventional wisdom.

Now, economics has something to say on how to the divide work between spouses to improve the chances of a happy life together. The concept of comparative advantage is raised as one main consideration on modern arrangements that work.

Watch this video as an introduction to a new book Spousonomics: Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage and Dirty Dishes, which is available at Amazon (click on the book icon to the left to learn more).

Got the heads-up from a Yahoo article Economics: the key to happy couples' division of labor that featured this book and video.

We planned yesterday's trip to the mall as an alternative to staying inside the house with no electricity for four hours (there was a notice of repair in our village from the local electric provider). The baby needs her baptismal dress, a new pair of shoes and a new pair of socks to go with them, so it was as good a chance as it can get. Of course, our toddler went with us.

What was supposed to be a lovely afternoon focused on our youngest kids turned sour as I carelessly dipped into Mama Sez bucket. I didn't realize how bad it was until I read her message this morning. The negative effect of that bucket dipping has drained her energy and left her unfocused for most of the day today.

I am thankful that she showed signs of recovery this evening and was cheerful during our nightly gratitude ritual.

If you are not familiar with bucket filling and bucket dipping, this book by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D.--the grandfather of positive psychology, was the source of these terms.

It's interesting that I was the one who made extra efforts to read the book with Mama Sez and then with our eldest daughter, but still violates its teachings...well, not as often as before, I hope.

I recommend this book for better relationships within the family, workplace, organizations and life in general. It has opened my eyes to the folly of pessimism and negativity. Moreover, there is a huge negative impact of bucket dipping in organizations, from families to companies and communities. They have data to back this conclusion.

Here's what I wrote to our eldest daughter when I gave it as a gift that I didn't have to buy last Christmas. It helps explain why it's important for me to have been introduced to this concept of positive psychology.

"24 Dec 2009

Dearest Ycai, 

I thought of giving you this book that your Mama and I eagerly bought to learn more about "bucket filling."

I was a little apprehensive at first that the topic might be too early for you.  But then I decided that it would be good to start you off as early as possible and open your eyes to the power of positivity.

You inherited traits that tend to make you quite cautious and pessimistic in disposition as well as make you focus on the negatives of others and yourself. There are certain good outcomes in such tendencies, but then anything in extreme is undesirable.  That's why it's important for you to learn and train yourself to balance your natural tendencies with positive psychology.

Let's read this book together, so I'll be reminded (as I tend to do bucket dipping mostly instead of filling) and we can learn together.

Merry Christmas my manita.

Exchanging gifts that we do not buy was a great idea.

Love, Papa"

Mama Sez, I am sorry for dipping in your bucket yesterday. I'll be better next time.


How Full is Your Bucket is available at Amazon and you can buy online through the buttons below.